Dealing with difficult people

There are many circumstances in life where dealing with difficult people may be an unavoidable obstacle. Understanding how to navigate these situations with specific strategies can be helpful.

Tips for dealing with difficult people and challenging situations

Understand the characteristics. Being familiar with the different traits of difficult people will be helpful when faced with them. You may be faced with the following types of characteristics:

• Low frustration tolerance

• Impulsivity

• Overly sensitive

• Blaming

• Complaining/whining

• Exploding

• Sense of entitlement

Other characteristics may not be listed, which can also be frustrating. However, knowing the specific set of traits most upsetting you is beneficial. Knowing your triggers is the first step in changing your reactions.

Know yourself. After becoming familiar with the different characteristics you may encounter, it is essential to identify which traits are most challenging for you to deal with. After knowing what triggers you, the next step is to evaluate how you typically respond when triggered. Noticing your actions when triggered will give you a chance to assess and change your behavior when triggered in the future.

Listen to understand. Once you know what triggers you and how you typically respond, you can work towards changing that response. When you feel your typical triggered response starts to build, it can be helpful to shift your focus to how you listen to that person. Changing this focus will help to decrease the frustration you may feel when triggered. For example – when feeling triggered, one strategy is to focus on the following aspects of how you are listening to that person:

• Keep an open mind

• Maintain eye contact

• Pay attention

• Be aware of your body language

Assess the situation. In addition to focusing on listening to the person whom you find difficult, it may also be helpful to evaluate the situation by asking the following questions:

• Does this person usually act this way in similar situations?

• Is my reaction out of proportion to what the situation warrants?

• Was there a particular incident that triggered the difficult behavior? Will direct and open discussion relieve the situation?

Evaluating the situation may help in redirecting the frustration and ease tension.

Always have a positive attitude. Remember that regardless of the situation's magnitude, your attitude towards it is always a decision. Going into a potentially difficult situation with an attitude of openness and cooperation is much more likely to yield a positive outcome. You may not have control over difficult people or challenging situations, but how you handle them is always up to you.