How to help a co-worker in distress

If you’re like most people, you probably spend more time around your fellow employees than almost anyone else. After a while, you understand what’s “normal” for your co-workers daily. While everyone has ups and downs, there may be times when you notice a change in a co-worker that seems more significant or concerning. Fortunately, by simply reaching out and starting a conversation, you can help a co-worker feel supported and get connected to additional help if needed.

Steps you can take

Recognize the signs. The first step is to recognize any significant changes in a co-worker’s behavior. Do they seem more tired, distant, sad or irritable? Have they withdrawn from others? Are they acting unusually? These types of changes can be an indicator of a co-worker in distress, especially when they last more than a few days.

Start the conversation. Once you’ve recognized the signs, it’s time to start a conversation. Find a quiet time and place to talk. Be relaxed, friendly, and concerned in your approach. Help your co-worker open up by saying something like, “I’ve noticed you’re not your usual self. Are you OK? Is there anything I can do to help?” Then, let the person talk. Listen to what they say. Try not to interrupt or rush the conversation. Don’t judge their experiences or reactions. Instead, acknowledge that things seem challenging for them right now. Show that you’ve listened by repeating back what you’ve heard in your own words.

Encourage the next step. Your co-worker may feel a sense of relief just from opening up to someone who cares enough to listen. But sometimes, additional help is needed. Your organization may provide services, such as an EAP, to help employees who are struggling with a personal or emotional health concern. These services are typically free and completely confidential. If you need help determining what services are available or how to access them:

  • Talk to your manager or HR department.

  • Once you know, share this information with your co-workers and encourage them to seek help.

  • Be optimistic about the role of professionals in getting through tough times.

Check in

If you can, check back with your co-worker in a few days to see how they’re doing. Ask if they’ve been able to take the next step in getting additional help, if needed. Ask if there is anything else they need. Remind them that you’re available to listen. Remember your care and concern can make a real difference during a difficult time in your co-worker’s life.

Urgent situations

Sometimes, people may need more urgent help than you can provide. If a co-worker is in severe emotional distress or tells you that they’ve had thoughts about suicide, encourage them to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or dial or text 988, 24 hours a day, seven days a week or visit their website. If you are ever concerned about the safety of an employee or the workplace, tell a supervisor immediately. For emergencies, always call 911.

Know your resources

Before reaching out to a co-worker in distress, having the contact information for the resources available to help employees may be helpful. If you are unsure what resources are available, contact your Human Resources Department.